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SARDARJI JOKES PACK

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Unread 13-04-2006, 04:31 AM   #1
smartjean4u
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SARDARJI JOKES PACK

Wash Basin
A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai "Wash Basin".

Three Engines
Fifteen minutes into the flight from Mankuwa City to Sukhpur city, the
captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed.. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left." Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can fly just fine on two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours.But don't worry ... we still have one engine left." A sardarji passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"


Detective Job
Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation. "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the Same question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying,"Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said,"OK, but get back to me tomorrow." When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How was the interview ?". Sardarji replied, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder.

Guooonn, Guooonn
Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we had to spend sleepless nights. Sardarji was also experiencing the same every time. he tries to sleep,one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a sound "guooonn, guooonn." He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge. Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete so ja". After some time he finds the mosquito falling into deep sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says "Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."

Urine Test
Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything. So the other asked,"Why are you crying?" The first one replied, "I came here for blood test" Second one asked," So? Are you afraid?" First one replied,"No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger" Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?" The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."

Bihari-Sardar
A Bihari was waiting for his bus at the bus stop. Finally the bus arrives and he gets in. The bus is fully loaded with sardarjis. One sardarji orders Bihari to tell a joke. Now, the Bihari thinks he's in big trouble because he knows only sardar jokes! After thinking for some time he decides to substitute all references to 'sardars' in his joke with 'Biharis'. He starts the jokes with, "There was once a Bihari..." And suddenly he gets a major blow on his back from one of the sardarjis who shouts, "Kyon be! Sab sardar mar gaye hai kya?"

Wrong Answer
Santa Singh applied for an engineering position at DEMAN CONSTRUCTION office in Amritsar. Mallu from Chennai applied for the same job and both
applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager Mr. Arvin Singh. Upon completion of the test, the results showed that both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Santa and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to Mallu". Santa: And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct. This being Punjab I should get the job!" Manager: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the one question that you got wrong. "Santa: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" Manager: "Simple, for the question that both of you got wrong, Mallu put down 'I don't know' as the answer. And you wrote 'Neither do I'!"

Road to Station
Sardarji praising his son who is a Civil engineer, who just laid a road near his house. "Wow! This is terrific! Look at the job he has done! The distance from my house to the railway station is the same as the railway station to my house!!!!!!!!"

Green TV
Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have colour TVs?" "Sure." "Give me a green one, please."

Just a second
Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?" "Just a sec," says the receptionist. "Thank you." says the Sardar and hangs up.

Salary Expected
Sardarji is filling up a job application. He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc. Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED. After much thought he writes: Yes.

Crocodile Boots
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes, if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs, angrily exclaims: "71st and *again* barefoot!"

Thermos Flask
Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask." The Sardar asks, "What does it do?" The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The Sardar says, "I'll take it!" The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos. His Sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?" He said, "It's a Thermos flask." The boss asks, "What does it do?" He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?" The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

Answering Machine
Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home. Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."

Photocopies What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies? He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

Photocopy What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra sheet? He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.

Free Punjab There was a meeting of all the Sardar freedom fighters. They were planning for a free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh...we'll take Punjab from India but how would we develop it?" That was a tough one indeed. Banta Singh had a brainwave... "No problem! We'll attack Amrika, it would take over us and then we would become a State of USA and develop automatically." All the surds became happy with this very simple solution but an old surd was not. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy. The old surd replied, "THAT'S ALL VERY WELL... WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TOOK OVER AMRIKA???"

Small TV Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied. He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognised me," he thought. He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour, new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again. "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied.


Below 18
Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie? Because below 18 was not allowed.

Sardarji's Intelligence
How do you measure Sardarji's intelligence? Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear.

Hand Grenade What do you do when Sardarji throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

Hand Grenade-2 What do you do when Sardarji throws a pin at you? Run like crazy...he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

Joke On Wednesday How do you make Sardarji laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

Hands over ear What was Sardarji doing when he held his hands tightly over his ears? He was trying to hold on to a thought.

Retrain Why does Sardarji work seven days a week? So you don't have to retrain him on Monday.

Ice Cubes Why can't Sardarji make ice cubes? He always forget the recipe.

Kill The Bird
How did Sardarji try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff.
A wind tunnel

What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.

Back Of Head
What do you see when you look into Sardarji's eyes?
The back of his head.

Lightning
Why does Sardarji always smile when a lightning blazes?
He thinks his picture is being shot.

Shoes
Why does Sardarji have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.

Fax
How can you tell when Sardarji sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

Second One
Why can't Sardarji dial 911?
He can't find the Second 1 on the dial.

Dead Bird
"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardarji looked skyward and asked, "Where, Where?

Smart Sardars and UFOs
What do smart Sardars and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.

Sardar Snowman
Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman than a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.


8 kms a Day

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran 8 kms a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kg
At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. "What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home.


Jurassic Park

Sardarji goes to see The Jurassic Park.
When the Dinosaurs start approaching he cowers in his seat.
His friend asks him,"Kyun Sardarji, kya baat hai?
Dar kyun lag raha hai? Cinema hi to hai."
Sardarji replies, "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai,pata hai ki cinema hai,
lekin woh to janwar hai, usko kya pata."


Suicide

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks...
takes along some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks,
"Kyon bhai ye sab kyun leke baithe ho?"
Sardarji replies, "Saali train late aati hai
kahin bhook se na marjaun.."


20 Rupees

Sardarji is travelling by train.
He feels sleepy, so he gives the guy opposite 20 rupees to wake him up when his station comes.
This guy is a barber. He feels that for 20 rupees Sardarji deserves more.
So, when Sardarji falls asleep, the barber quietly shaves off his beard.
When the station arrives, he wakes up Sardarji and sends him home.
Reaching home, he goes to wash his face, and suddenly screams when he sees the mirror.
Sardarni asks, "What's the matter?"
"The cheat on the train takes my 20 rupees and wakes up someone else!"

Donkey
Having lost his donkey Sardarji, got down
to his knees and thanked God.
A passerby saw this and asked,
"Your donkey is missing. What are you thanking God for?"
Sardarji replied, "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that
I wasn't riding the donkey at that time,
otherwise I would have been missing too."

Chinese
Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills the birth certificate. "Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese." "How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?" "
Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper, it said every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."


Rubi, Moti and Sardarji

Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and Sardarji were sent to the outer space.
The ground control issues commands, "Rubi!"
"Woof!" (barking sound ) "Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Moti!" "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"


Clock Tower

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."


Driver

Santa and Banta Singhs landed up in Bombay and got into a doubledecker.
Santa somehow managed to get a bottom seat in the bus. Unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. When the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to look up Banta, found Banta in badly scared, clutching the seats in front with both hands.
Santa asked, "Arre Banta! What's going on? Why so scared?
I was enjoying my ride down there? Scared Banta replied, "Yeah, but you've got a *driver*."


Called Again
Santa with two red ears went to see his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears. "I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang. Instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But...what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called again."


31 Years Old
Bantu returns from his first day at school and immediately questions hisfather.
"Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half
the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Sardar?"
"No son, that's because you are intelligent. "
Bantu seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question,
"Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from
1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Sardar ??"
"No son, that's because you are intelligent," replies his father.
Happy with the answer, Bantu poses another question to his father,
"Dad,today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was atleast twice their height. Is that because I am Sardar ??"
The father replies, "No son, that's because you are 31 years old.


Oxygen Tube
Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta singh stood beside the bed, Santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on.
Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper,and Santa used his
last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died.Banta singh thought
it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket.
Several days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died. "You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but
knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all.". He
unfolded the note and read aloud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"


Thought
Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him how he had fared. He replied, "Exam was okay, except for the past tense of 'think'. I thought, thought, thought and at last, I wrote 'thunk'!"

Bet On Highlights
Santa told Banta, "I bet that India would win against Pakistan and lost Rs 1,000." Banta exclaimed: "Yaar, you bet Rs 1,000 for a single match?" Santa replied:
"Nahi yaar, I bet Rs 500 on that match." Banta asked: "So, what happened to the other Rs 500?" Santa repied: "Chad yaar, I bet on the highlights too."


Train Driver
A train suddenly deviated from the tracks and ran onto the nearby fields before returning on the tracks again. The passengers were horrified at this. At the
next railway station, the driver was caught and questioned. He was a sardar and explained that a man was standing on the tracks and he refused to budge.
The authorities asked him, "Sardarji, are you mad? Just to save one person, you put so many lives in danger. You should have overrun that person." The
sardar replied: "Exactly, that is what I was doing, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close."


House on Fire
Once a building caught fire and two guys and a sardar were trapped in the balcony. On the ground, fire fighters caught hold of a net and asked them to jump.
The first one jumped but the fire fighters removed the net and he was killed. Then the other guy was asked to jump and again they removed the net too soon and he
was dead. Seeing all this, the sardar was furious and said: "You keep the net on the ground and get away from it. I don't trust you.

Cellular Phone
A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says
" Hello, how did you know I was here?"


Secret Agents
Why are sardar secret agents the best in the world? Because even under
torture they can't remember what they have been assigned to.


Checkbook
Did you hear about the sardar who signed all his checks so no one Else
could write in his checkbook other than him if he lost his checkbook?


Two Coats
Banta Singh was painting his living room one hot day.
His friend Santa Singh asked him, "Why, are you wearing two jackets?".
"Because," said Banta Singh, "The directions on the can said to put on two coats."


White Lines
A sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway.
On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile.
Then the foreman asked the sardar why he kept painting less each day, he replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can."

Empty Bottles
Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
They're there for those who don't drink.

Lunch Box
Why do sardars have see-through lunch box lids?
So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming
home.


Think
A sardar's response to the comment, "THINK about it!": "I don't have
to think-I'm sardar!"


Window
A sardar, a japanese, and a britisher were lost in the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey.
The japanese took the radiator, the britisher took the seat, and the sardar took the door. After a while of walking the britisher asked the japanese "I'm confused,
why did you bring the radiator?" The japanese responded, "If I get thirsty,I can
drink the fluid." Next the sardar asked the britisher "Why did you bring
the seat?" So the britisher said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the
sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat." Finally the japanese asked the sardar why he had chosen the door. The sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well,when I shall feel the need to get some breeze in this summer all have to do is roll down the window."

Magic Lamp
A sardar, a japanese, and a britisher were shipwrecked on a deserted
island. One day they came upon an old lamp buried in the sand.
As they brushed the sand from the lamp a Genie appeared and said I'll
give each of you one wish." The japanese said "I wish I was home!" PUFF and
he was gone! The britisher said "I wish I was home!" PUFF and he too
was gone. The sardar said "Boy is it lonely here! I wish my friends were
back!"


Sheep & Dog
A sardar was tired of being sardar and constantly being the subject of all
those dumb sardar jokes. He finally cut his hair. He decided to take a drive through the country to celebrate his new life. Going past a field of sheep (he loved sheep) he stopped and asked the farmer "If i can guess how many sheep in your flock, can I have one?" The farmer laughed and said "Sure, Sir"
He gazed out for a few seconds and said "There's 1,973 sheep" The farmer said with amazement "Your're right! Go and pick one out". On his way back to his car he was stopped by the farmer yelling "Hey Sir! If I can guess your real identity can I have my dog back?"

Ban Sardarji jokes
Desh mein badthi hui sardarji jokes dekh kar Santa aur Banta chintith ho jate hain.. Dono milkar Bhatinda mein Akhil Bharatiya Sardarji Sammelan ka ayojan kartein hain.. Sammelan ka muddha hai .:"Ban Sardarji jokes..".Sammelan ke baad, Santa, Banta aur doosare sardarji Delhi pohanch jatein hain, Cultural Affairs mantri shri Surinder Singh se milnein..Kafi Dharna ke baad wo Surinder singh se miltein hain. Santa chillata hai, " Kaise sardarji ho ji aap, Desh mein din ba din Sardarjiyo par joke likha ja raha hai aur aap Mantri ho kar bhi, kuch karte hi nahi..aap turanth iin jokes par ban lagaiye.." Surinder singh kuch sochane ke bad bolta hai " Mere pyare sardarji Bhaiyon,aap in jokes ko dil se kyon lete hain,jokes tho jokes hai, aur waise bhi hum sardarji log kuch buddhu hote hain..". Santa aur Banta yeh sunkar Gussa ho jatein hai aur chilatein hai, arre mantri jara sabith kar ke dikhao ki hum buddhu hain..". Surinder bolta hai," OOye, ye lo ji, ismein konsi baddi baat hain, abhi lo.." aur wo apne driver ko bulata hai " oye Milkha singh, oye Milkha, jara idhar aa". Milkha cabin mein aata hai.. Surinder bolta hai.." oye milkha ja daud ke ja aur pata kar ki mei ghar pohancha ki nahin.."..Milkha chale jata hai. Surinder bolta hai.." Dekh lo kitna buddhu hai, Telephone kar ke nahi pooch saktha tha.."..

Sardar Tiger
Sardar Dhakaan Singh is big hunter. Once he went to a zoo. At that time a big tiger escaped from its cage. The zoo officials sent everyone out of the zoo and closed the main gate. Now the tiger is inside the zoo but wandering freely.Zoo people requested sardar to go inside and trap the tiger in a cage.Scared but to avoid insult he went into the zoo in his jeep carrying a big gun. While driving on one of the zoo's roads, he noticed that the tiger is chasing him. Feeling scared he drove the jeep fast but only to observe that the tiger is very near to the jeep. At that time the road separated into
two paths ahead, one to the left and other to the right. Then cleverly dhakaal put the left indicator on and turned the jeep to the road on right. The tiger runs into the left path. With a sigh of relief, he drove forward. After some time the roads meet and the same situation arises again. once more the road divides into two and this time our sardar is smart enough to put the right indicator on and turned to left. This time the tiger goes into the road on right side. After some time the roads meet again to our sardar's misfortune and the tiger starts to chase him again. This time the road never divides and our sardar thought the tiger would catch him. Then a brilliant idea struck his mind. He slows down his jeep taking it to the left corner of the road. Then
he held his hand outside and a gives signal which is given for vehicles which want to overtake. The tiger this time overtakes his jeep and runs forward.
Result :- There are Sardar Communities in Tigers too.


30000 kms
A sardar wanted to sell his old battered Maruti car which had done more than
100,000 kms. Since no body was inclined to buy it, he approached his friend to
help him dispose it off. The friend advised him to have the mileage meter
reading reduced to around 30,000 kms so that he could tell the prospective
customer that it has been used sparingly. The sardar liked the idea. A few
weeks later the same friend met him and enquired whether he was able to
dispose off his car. The sardar replied, "Are you mad? Who sells a car which
has done only 30000 kms!


Rechecking Answers
A Sardarjee reported for his University final examination which consists of
"yes/no" type questions. he takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at
the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes
his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the
answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour he is all
done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few
minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The
moderator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "I finished the
exam in half and hour. But, I am rechecking my answers


Money Needed
Santa Singh needed some money desperately.
Someone told him that if goes & prays at Gurudwara, Mosque, Church & a temple, that his prayers will surely be answered. So Santa goes to a Gurudwara, & prays there. Then he goes to a Mosque and prays there. Than he goes to a church and prays there. Then he goes to a Shiv temple. The temple had
a large Lord Shiva statue. Santa closes his eyes, bows his head, joins his hands and says his prayer.
Santa: "Ho Jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho. Saannoo 100 rupayen chahiye. Kirpa karo."
The priest saw Santa praying. He wante to help Santa, but knew that a Sikh will never accept the money. So he drops a 100 rupee note, from behind the statue, so that Santa can not see him. After Santa had said his prayers, and opened his eyes. He saw the note and thought that god has listened to his
prayers. He takes the note and goes away. However he is back again next day for money. Now the priest is really annoyed with Santa. The Priest decides that he is not going to give any more money to
Santa. He changes the big Shivji statue with smaller one of Ganapathi that day. Once again Santa goes to the prayer room. However he does not notice the difference. Santa closes his eyes, bows his
head, joins his hands and says his prayer. Santa: "Ho Jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho. Ajj to
saannoo 50 rupayen hi chahiye. Kirpa karo." After that he slowly opens his eyes and does not find any
money.
Santa: "O papa jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho. Asee 10 rupayen me hi kaam chala lenge. Kirpa karo jee." After that he slowly opens his eyes and does not find any money. He slowly raises his head and now notices that small Ganapthi statue. He carefully looks left and than right, & than slowly moves a bit forward near the statue. Than he whispers to the Statue: "Beta, Papa kitthe hai?!?!!

What did the Sardar say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Look! They spelled MACY'S wrong!"

What do you call an eternity?
Four Sardars in four cars at a four way stop.

Why do Sardars have TGIF written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

What do SMART Sardars and UFO's have in common?
You always hear about them but never see them.

Why did the Sardars stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.
Oh look, Daddy...Donut seeds.

Why do Sardars always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

How can you tell when a Sardars sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

Why can't Sardars dial 911?
They can't find the 11 on the phone!

What do you do if a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth!

How can you tell if a Sardar has been using your computer?
There is white-out all over the monitor.

Why shouldn't Sardars have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.

How do you drown a Sardar?
Put a scratch & sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

How do you get a twinkle in a Sardar's eye?
Shine a flashlight in his ear.

Why don't Sardars like making KOOL-AID?
Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.

Did you hear about the two Sardars that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater?
They went to see "Closed for Winter".

Why won't they hire Sardars as pharmacists?
They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.

Hear about the Sardar that got an AM radio?
It took her a month to realize he could play it at night.

What happenned to the Sardar Ice Hockey Team?
They drowned in Spring Training.

A Sardar walks into a bar, orders
three pints of "Desi Daru"and sits in the back of
the room, drinking a sip out of each one
inturn. When he finishes them, he comes back
to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint
goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if
you bought one at a time."
The Sardar replies, "Well, you see, I have
two brothers. One is in America, the other in
Dubai, and I'm here in Punjab. When we all
left home, we promised that we'd drink this
way to remember the days when we drank
together."
The bartender admits that this is a nice
custom, and leaves it there. The Sardar
becomes a regular in the bar, and always
drinks the same way: He orders three pints
and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All
the other regulars notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second
round, the bartender says, "I don't want to
intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my
condolences on your great loss."
The Sardar looks confused for a moment,
then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs.
"Oh, no," he, says, "everyone's fine. I've just
quit drinking."

This is about a day when Mr. Zail was the President of
the country. All sardars in the country went to him this day and told him
that people tease them by making jokes about them that when the clock
stucks 12:00, all sardars go mad and act like crazy. They complained that
this is not true. They also complained that people talk about sardar
having no common sanse. Therefore, they demanded him to go bring for them common sense.
Mr. Zail Singh was confused and asked his secretary to give him some suggestions. The secretary advised him to go to Japan, since quality is guaranteed.
The next day Mr. Zail Singh rushes off to Japan. At the Osaka Airport he hires a cab and asks him to take him to a shop where he can get common sense.
The cab driver was pissed, he told him that there is no shop in Japan that sells such stuff. Infact every human being has common sense since birth. And that one should know how to make use of it. Mr. Zail Singh asked him to explain in detail.
He started explaining by giving an example. The example was that there are 4 members in his family, his wife, his son, and his daughter. He then asked Mr. Zail Singh to guess the fourth members of the family. Mr. Zail Singh said, "How am i supposed to know who is the forth member in your family". The driver said, "fool, its me"
Mr. Zail then understood and said,"oh! is this what common sense is?, Indian sardars are fools and stupid, this is so easy!"
The next day he goes back to India and announces all sardars to get together for a mass sardar lunch. He starts explaining with the same example. He says," there are 4 members in my family, my son, my daughter, and my wife, guess who is the fourth one?". All sardars shouted, "We don't know".

He then yells at them,"You fools, stupid, good for nothing. It is so simple, the fourth member of the family is that taxi driver"
<font size="3"><b>

there isn't much more news at this time. nothing much has happened.
love, mom
p.s. i was going to send you some money, but the
envelope was already sealed.

Sardarji Takes Art Class:
One Day, A sardarji went to take an art class. His
art teacher gave the assignment that he must paint
something. The sardarji did not know what to
paint, so the teacher told him to paint that which
he felt was the most beautiful thing in the world.
The sardarji thought, Nothing can be more
beautiful than my village, so I shall paint that.
The sardarji spent all his time working on the
painting the next day. He did not eat, sleep, or
take a bath.
Finally, he took the painting to his art teacher.
His art teacher was amazed at the detail of the
picture, but he said, "No, no, there is something
missing. Go back to your village and see what you
have missed."
The sardarji went back to his village and revised his
painting. The next day in class, he returned with
the painting. He presented a black canvas to
his instructor. His instructor said, "What! You fool!
I said revise not destroy!"
The sardarji said, "Well you told me to paint what I
was missing, so I went back to the village, and looked
for a long time. Then, there was a power outage, so I
thought to myself this is what I am missing, so I painted
black!"

A Sardar Computer Illiterate:
True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am
within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, It's
because
I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a
trade
show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have
any trademark
on it?"
Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know
anything about a
promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because
he couldn't stand it.
The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM
drive as a cup holder,
and snapped it off the drive!
Jurassic Park

This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching, he was hiding under his seat when his friend asks him ;kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.; Sardarji replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata" <font size="3"><b><h3 style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;">One more Plane Crash

Garbachan singh was traveling from Calcutta to Bombay by a plane, There were one American, one Russian, one Pakistani and some other passengers. Suddenly something went wrong pilot alarmed that plane lost it's control and some of the passengers have to jump out to rescue the rest of them. Firstly the American jumped out saying "Jai America" again the condition didn't change then the Russian jumped out from the plane saying "Jai Russia". But the condition still the same. The next is Garbachen's turn he hesitated for a moment and pulled out the Pakistani by saying "Jai India". A Plane journey

A jet ran in to some turbulent weather. To keep passengers calm, the air hostess brought out the beverage carts.
"I'd like a soda " said the passenger in the front row. Moving along, the air hostess asked the man behind her if he would like something.
"Yes I would," he replied. "Give me whatever the pilot is drinking!".
Crime Story

"I'm going on vacation . Could you suggest a thrilling crime story ?" Santa asks to Banta. "Here this one is so suspenseful you won't be able to put it down" replies Banta. "only on the last page do you find out that the gardener did it". New House

Santa meets Banta
Santa: "so have you moved to a new house"
Banta: "No."
Santa: "Why not? You advertised to sell your old house, didn't you?"
Banta: "Yes, but when I read the ad, I realized it was just the home I was looking for!".

Salt Seller
Do you really sell that much salt? A man asks to a Sardar who is running a grocery shop stocked with thousands of boxes of salt.
"No " says the Sardar. "I sell may be two boxes a month. To tell you the truth, I'm not a good salt seller. But the one who sell me salt-now he's a good salt seller."
Marathon Race

One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race.
"What the guys are doing" asked the sardar.
" We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one runner.
"Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!" Exclaimed the Sardar

13th Floor
One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on the
thirteenth floor building when a man came running in
to his office and shouted "Santa Singh your daughter
Preeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was in
panic.Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office
window. While coming down when he was near the tenth
floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named
Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered
he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground
he remembered he was not Santa Singh.

Phone Book
A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library
and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the
most boring I've ever read. There was no story
whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"
The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who
took our phone book."

Cows Don't Fly
A sardar was walking along, when he looked up to
observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird
dropped a load when it was directly over him. The
Sardar says, "Good thing that cows don't fly."

Dark Room
Did you hear about the sardar who asked his friends to
give him all their burnt out light bulbs? He just
bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.

Relaxing
One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.A lady
came and asked him, " Are you relaxing" Sardar
answered '" No I am Banta Singh" Another Guy Came and
asked! ! ! ! the same Question. Sardar answered " No No Me
! Banta Singh" Third one came and asked the same
question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to
shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar
enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you
Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and
answered "Yes I am relaxing. The Sardar slapped him on
his face and said "Idiot, Sab tere Ko wahahn dhoond
rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai. &qu
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Unread 21-10-2006, 01:31 PM   #2
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nice jokes yaar,really enjoyed every joke.
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Unread 22-10-2006, 05:12 AM   #3
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BRAVO....whole half ab hour of jokes....Keep it up
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Unread 22-10-2006, 07:02 AM   #4
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OMG what a huge list I cannt stop laughing
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Unread 22-10-2006, 11:47 AM   #5
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Superb collection...
he he he he/.....
Supre yaar...
i cant stop laughing....
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Unread 23-10-2006, 08:32 AM   #6
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Nice jokes yaar...
very good timepass...
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Unread 23-10-2006, 12:26 PM   #7
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Kool jokes,awesome!!!!
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Unread 23-10-2006, 05:10 PM   #8
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do we have any sardar as our member? anyway great collection. i did not know that tech geeks also collect something other than softwares and hardwares.
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